Joke020: Flying Around


A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when
an electrical malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's electronic navigation and communications
equipment.  Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot
could not determine the helicopter's position and
course to fly to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it,
circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in
the helicopter's window.  The pilot's sign said
"WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to
the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a
building window.  Their sign read:

"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map,
determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport,
and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked
the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign
helped determine their position.

The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the
MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically
correct, but completely useless answer."


No Titile
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Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side.
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.

Her pale lips moved.

"Jake," she said.

"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk." But she insisted.

"Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must
confess."

"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all
right. Everything's all right."

"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have
been unfaithful to you."

Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know
all about it", he sobbed. ---  "Why else would I poison you?


No Title Again
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An 90 year old man went for his annual check up and the
doctor said, "Friend, for your age your in the best
shape I've seen."

The old feller replied, "Yep. It comes from clean
living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spiritual
life." The doctor asked, "What makes you say that?" The
old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life
the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom light on for me
every time I get up in the middle of the night."

The doc was concerned. "You mean when you get up in the
night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on
the light for you?"

"Yep," the old man said, "Whenever I get up to go to
the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me."

Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when the
old man's wife came in for her check up, he felt he had
to let her know what her husband said.

"I just want you to know," the doctor said. "Your
husband's in fine physical shape but I'm worried about
his mental condition He told me that every night when
he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the
light on for him."

"He what?" she cried.

"He said every night when he gets up to go to the
bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."

"Aha!!!" she exclaimed. "So he's the one who's been
peeing in the refrigerator!"