Joke025: A True Confession


A man walks in to a confession booth and says I have sinned.
What did you do asks the priest. I committed a murder.

The priest says take a drink out of the holy cup and you
will be forgiven.

A women walks in to the confession booth and says I have
sinned. The priest asks her what did you do. I robbed six
banks. The priest says take a drink out of the holy cup
and you will be forgiven.

Another man walks in to the confession booth and says I
have sinned. What did you do asks the priest.

I peed in the holy cup.


The Painter

A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a
contractor in to help her.  They wander around the house, and she
points out the colors she wants.  She says, "Now, in the living room,
I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.
Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide.  They wander into
the next room.  She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white,
not stark, but very bright and airy."  The contractor nods, pulls out
his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans
out, and yells "Green side up"! The woman is even more perplexed but
still lets it slide. They wander further into the next room.  She
says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue.  Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.
Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side
up"! This is too much.  The woman has to ask.  So she says, "Every
time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the
window 'Green side up.'  What on earth does that mean?"

The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying
sod across the street."

Thanks to  Barbara D for submitting that joke