Joke023: A Close Cut


A really good-looking girl was giving a man a manicure in the
barber shop.

"How about a date when you finish work?" he asked.

"I can't" she replied, "I am married."

"So call up you husband and tell him you're going to visit a
sick girlfriend," said the man.

"Why don't you tell him yourself" said the girl, "he's the
one shaving you."


The Public Pool

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public
swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard.
"I'm going to report you."

"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.

"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"


Cute Kids
---------

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there
were 2 boy kittens & 2 girl kittens. "How did you know?" his
mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,"
he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."
--From Cindeee

As another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His
mother noticed the left one was on the right foot. She
said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up
at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom,
I know they're my feet."
--From Brenda B

Amy: Can people predict the future with cards?
Joan: My mother can.
Amy: Really?
Joan: Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me
what will happen when my father gets home.
--Compliments of a Teacher in Phoenix

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read,"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife
and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and
was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
--From Emile

Q: What's the difference between a mutt and a pedigreed dog?
A: About a hundred and fifty dollars.
--Syman Says