Joke027: Kids N Religion


When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard
time grasping the concept of marriage.
But anyway, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images
would help, and explained the entire service to her.  Once
finished, I
asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh.  I see.
Is that when Mommy came to work for us, daddy?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother took her three-year-old daughter
to church for the first time.  The church lights were
lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying
lighted candles.
All was quiet until the little one
started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy Birthday to you, happy
birthday to you......"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter, Caitlin,
the Lord's Prayer.  For several evenings at bedtime she
solo.  I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each
word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into
temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail.
Amen."


British News Bits

___ From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: ___
'Would the Congregation please note that the
bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick",
is for monetary donations only.'

___ From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in
a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: ___
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from
the Commissioner's Office  return it immediately.
It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'

___ From The Times: ___
'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a
set of inflatable teeth, was  rescued by a man on
an inflatable lobster.  A coast-guard spokesman
commented, "This sort of thing is all too
common these days."

___ From The Gloucester Citizen: ___
'A sex line caller complained to Trading
Standards. After dialing an 0891 number from an
advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was
played  a tape of a woman nagging her husband for
failing to do jobs around the house.  Consumer Watchdogs
in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying,
"He got what he deserved."

___ From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed
"Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": ___
"... the money will not be going directly into
the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage
them to lead a better life.  We will be training them
for new positions in hotels."

___ From The Derby Abbey Community News: ___
"We apologize for the error in the last
edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a
Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical
error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective
in  the Police Farce."