Joke028: The Devil Made Me Do It


Sunday morning services were going very smoothly
when suddenly a flash of light and smoke appeared
in front of the pulpit followed by a large "BOOM".
When the smoke cleared, the astonished congregation
saw a red figure complete with horns, pitchfork and tail.

Immediately, panic set in. People crowded through the
doors, trampling each other in their rush to get away.
Satan watched the retreat with great glee, but  his mood
was disturbed by the sight of one man still lounging
comfortably in his pew.

"Do you not know who I am?", Satan thundered.

The man's reply was nonchalant, "Sure I do."

Satan was puzzled.  "Do you not fear me?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

The man snorted, "What for? I been married to
your sister for 35 years!"


A Priest And A Bus Driver

A priest and a bus driver both died and went to heaven at the
same time. They get to the pearly gates where St. Peter greets
them.

He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go
out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills
with a little cottage on the knoll. St. Peter turns to the
priest and says "This will be yours for eternity. A perfect
little cottage, right next to a wishing well. Anything you wish
on that wishing well will come true guarantied."

The priest says, "Oh, thank you so much. This I shall
enjoy!"

St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly
gates and motions to the bus driver. They hop in a stretch limo
and go out the front door. There are about 500 acres of land,
with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge castle on
one of the mountains with about 200 rooms.  St. Peter says "This
will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with
servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have
everything you want."

The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says "Well, now,
don't think I'm not grateful, but shouldn't the priest get all
this, not me? Shouldn't I get the cottage and 50 acres instead?"
St. Peter just laughs and says "The reason you get all this
is because when the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. Now,
when you drove your bus, people prayed!"