Joke033: What's The Matter Judy?


Judi goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss
concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,
"What's the matter?"

To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone
call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young
girl. "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy
just take the day off to relax and rest."

Judi very calmly states, "No.. I'd be better off here. I need to
keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual... "If you need
anything just let me know."

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Judi. He
looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her asking, "What's so bad now? Are you going to be ok?
What's wrong?"

Judi breaks down in tears, "I just received a horrible call from
my sister. She said that *her* mom died too!!"


THEY DON'T NEED THE OLD SEARS CATALOGS

Detroit officials are trying to wipe out media reports
of a massive toilet paper shortage at police headquarters
and its 13 neighborhood precincts.
Officials say their day-long investigation Wednesday
concluded the department is flush with toilet tissue.
Mayoral Press Secretary Greg Bowens insists there was
never a problem and that the city takes "the health, safety
and welfare of our officers very seriously."
Officials say a new shipment arrived Wednesday and the
"four- thousand police officers and 13-thousand city employees
have the tools they need to do the job."
(Thanks to UPI's Eric Johnson in Detroit)

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If You Love Something

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, It will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to
begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses
your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that you had set it free.....

You either married it or gave birth to it.